Living with…James Bond themes…for a week

C’mon chaps…we all know that we’d like to be James Bond. Suave, dapper, always ready with the quick line. Dry martini in hand.  The inventor of the double entendre. A man of action. A beautiful girl on each arm.  A baddy on every corner. And the cars, let’s not get started on the cars.

So how close will we ever get to the Bond life?

With no81bob’s guide to James Bond themes for ringtones you can take a step closer.  As you stand, poised with glass in hand at the bar and your phone rings you can benefit from the kudos of a carefully selected Bond ringtone.  Choose from the top five below to get that edge…as you answer remember to do it correctly

“The name’s bob…no81 bob”.

1. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Well,  clip the annoying first 7 seconds and then this is quintessential 60’s lounge.  Those with you will know they’ve heard this somewhere – the distant elusive horns, the gently driving beat.  They’re in the Aston Martin with you cruising the Italian Riviera…they’re having the Bond effect gently infused.


2. Goldeneye

Tease your friends with that lingering opening.  The brassy horn kicks in.  Then it’s Tina and they know they’re in Bond land.


3. Dr No (original classic)

Rather like a bottle of Old Spice or Brut 33 you can’t really can’t go wrong with the old favourite, can you?  This is splash-it-all-over Bond effect – prepare to stand by what you’re doing here.  There’s no hiding, and some may find this overpowering.


4.  Diamonds are Forever

Prepare to be initially mistaken for Tubular Bells and then the magic of Shirley Bassey.  A subtle toot on the horns.  I believe another Dry Martini is called for.  Maybe a ringtone for the ladies, but prepare to frighten a few men.


5. Goldfinger

You are the bees knees.  The mutts nuts.  And you don’t care that everybody knows.  The Bold Intro gentle eases away to the magic words.  Goldfinger.  The next round is on me and I believe we’re on the Moët and Chandon.


The Big NO-NO

On no account ever choose the theme to The Man with the Golden Gun.  Lulu has had many wonderful moments in her career but converting her Bond Theme to a ringtone is a definite no-no.  As your phone rings, the song crashes in and you pull it from your pocket little Lulu proclaiming

“He has a powerful weapon
He charges a million a shot”

Guaranteed to clear the room, less Bond more Austin Powers.


A week with The Best of Bond…James Bond

With thanks to Linda Scannell Photography for fireworks at Kenilworth Castle.

My week with Bond began with a spectacular firework display at nearby Kenilworth Castle.  I was wavering on Shirley Bassey for the week but it swayed it for me.  Go the full gamut of Bond divas, and dedicate a week to Shirley another time.

Let’s get the fundamental question out the way that has dogged many a pubtime debate…which is the best ever Bond theme?

There’s no real debate.  We Have All The Time In The World by Louis Armstrong closely followed by Carly Simon’s Nobody Does It Better.  Glad we’ve got that sorted.  None of the others come anywhere near them.

As to a week of the Bond life, where does it leave you at the end?  In a permanent state of  heightened excitement to be honest.  You feel that something is always just around the corner.  That you should be leading a life of exact perfection, moving from one beautifully crafted scene to another.  That the tyres of your motor should squeal a little as you pull away from traffic lights.  That the man walking behind you in the street may be a spy… or rather disappointingly, in reality just a traffic warden.

I’m just off to change my ringtone to something with no expectations.


Twotes of the week

@the99percent: “People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” -Chinese Proverb RT@mienshiang

@rocious_puns: Greece the Movie: Including the hit song “Euro the one that I want”

(with thanks to @rocious_puns and @CSDHunter: for also ‘Hopelessly Devoted To EU’ and ‘Look At Me, I’m Bankruptcy’)

@stephencgrant: Moses was the first person to use “Control-C” as a shortcut.

@nationalrailenq: Passengers are currently unable to alight from trains at Shepley due to reports by police of a lion in the area.

@AnnieEaves: As well as the stand, Alex Ferguson also got a gold carriage clock to mark 25 years service. Made specially, it has 65 minutes in each hour.